The TMNT's Cure for Boredom!
by Lady Stardust
Summary: Ok, people, this is meant in good fun. Some friends and I came up with this while bored and on sugar highs. What would happen if the TMNT were one a cheesy gameshow, Another Useless Interview!. Don't take it seriously! And don't use your brain!


Note: This story is meant in a lighthearted way. It is a comedy. It is meant to be humorous. If you do not like to view things in a lighthearted way, do not find goofy humor to be amusing, and do not like to laugh, please DO NOT READ this story. Thank you.

Donatello and Leonardo were bored. As they sat in front of the TV (which was playing reruns of I Love Lucy), and the clocked ticked on the wall, they realized that life could not possibly get more boring.

Suddenly, Donatello had an idea. He took out his Turtle Comm and called April.

"This is Donatello, calling April", He said.

"What's up, Donatello?" April responded.

"Leo and I are really bored. We were wondering if there was anything we could do down at the station? Maybe we could help you with your work or something?" He asked.

"Well, I guess so, but…I really don't think it would be a good idea for you to try to help me with my work…what with what happened last time with the coffee maker and the photocopier and the fax machine and the…" April's voice trailed off.

"Oh, yeah, forgot about that…" Donatello interrupted.

"Actually, there is a new show starting today. It's a new type of talk show. The host takes people off of the street and asks them random questions. This kind of show is all the rage right now. I'm friends with the interviewer on the show. I'm sure I could ask her to interview you guys. Sound like fun?" April asked.

"Absolutely!" Donatello exclaimed. "We'll be right over!"

About twenty minutes later, Donatello and the rest of the gang had arrived at Channel 6. They found April waiting for them in the lobby.

"The show tapes in Studio 3. I can show you the way." She said.

The two turtles and April began walking down the hall to the TV studio. As they walked into the studio, Donatello and Leonardo noticed a large banner over the stage that read "Another Useless Interview". On the stage, a lady sat behind a desk, and a few chairs were to her left.

"Hello Ann!" April greeted the interviewer. "These are the guests that I was telling you about, Donatello and Leonardo."

"Hello!" Said Ann. "Well, we've been working on the show all day, so we only have a few minutes left for your interview. Boy, that Richard Simmons guy sure talked a lot. However, I am sure the world looks forward to very exciting interviews with people such as yourselves, so we might as well get started."

And with that, the lights dimmed and the interview began.

"Well, you lucky viewers, we hope you had a wonderful and eventful commercial break, but now it's time, yet again, for….ANOTHER USELESS INTERVIEW!!!! And with our two new guest stars, Leonardo and Donatello, and, of course, your host, Ann!" Said the cheesy, car salesman-voiced announcer as Ann sported a horse-teethed grin into the camera.

"Well, I guess we should get started by asking you what your names are, even though we already said them!" Ann said, and then directed her attention to Leo. "So, for the record, what's your name, even though I already said it?"

"Uhhhm..Bob, Bob Smith." Leo replied.

Ann stared at him for a moment, and then said, "Ok, um, thanks, Bob. So. What is it that you want me to ask you about today?"

Leo was not sure how to respond. "Well, you're the interviewer, aren't you supposed to know what to ask me?"

"Oh, gosh, yeah, that's a bummer, huh? But the thing is, with all of the budget cuts around here, one of the first things to go was my script. So basically we just wing it." She responded.

Leo was beginning to think that this interview show…as well as the host…were a couple of cans short of a six pack.

"Um…you could ask me about how awesome I am…" Leo suggested.

"I could," Replied Ann. "But the thing is, you're a nerd. So that's not really going to work, Leo. I mean, Bob." She then proceeded to start spinning around in her chair yelling "wheeeeee". Leo and Don just looked at each other and shrugged. Finally, Ann came to a screeching halt and raised her finger into the air, as if to imply that she had suddenly had a great idea. "I know! We could start by picking on your silly sibling!! That ought to make this cheesy conversation more interesting!"

"Oh, lucky, happy, fantastic day." Muttered Donatello.

"Why, hello, Donatello." Ann said with wayyyy too much enthusiasm. "Aren't you glad that Leo has forced you into this interview that he insists on?"

"Hey, now wait a minute, I didn't force him into – " Leo started.

"What am I supposed to say?" Don asked.

"See folks, he really is pure genius in physical form!" Ann announced.

"I hate you." Don announced back.

"Such hostility. Such interpersonal conflict. Maybe my two-cent degree in psychology will come into use in this profession after all! But anyway, let's get back to the main reason for this interview…." Ann said.

"You mean there is one?" Leo retorted.

"….Which is to get it over with so Leo stops asking for one!" She continued.

"Now wait a minute!" Leo exclaimed. "I didn't ask for an interview! This just sort of…happened!"

Meanwhile, Donatello was proceeding to pick out some blue Play-Doh that was stuck under his nails.

"What are you doing, Donatello?" Asked Ann, completely ignoring Leo's last outburst.

"Um..nothing! Nothing at all!" Don smiled sheepishly and quickly put his hands behind his back.

"Oh, no, not the blue Play-Doh again." Leo groaned. "Just when we thought he was over his Play-Doh obsession…."

"I don't know what you're talking about! You can't prove a thing!" Don yelled, suddenly quite agitated.

"Yep, this is one of the reasons that we all pick on Donnie. He has no brain and he has an obsession with BLUE PLAYDOH! Let the truth come out on camera, Donnie! Admit it! You sleep with a can of blue PLAYDOH under your pillow!" Leo screamed.

"I DO NOT!" Cried Don. "You better watch out! I will not allow myself to be humiliated on TV like this! I have a bo staff and I'm not afraid to use it! Back, back, I say!"

"Oh yeah," Ann said mockingly. "I believe I will have to get myself a neat-o wooden broom-handle thingie so that I can stop people from picking on me for my weird habits. That ought to impress everyone out there. Yeah. That's it. I think I'll become a Ninja. Oooo, scary!"

"Well, you know, if you were a ninja you'd have to be as cool as I am. And I just don't see that happening. I mean, look at me, I'm the Perfect Ninja." Declared Leo, beating his imaginary eyelashes at the camera.

"Oh, please stop doing that," Said Ann. "It's scaring all of the children out there. And you know what else? Your eyes are creepy, Leo. They're all freaky and such. What do you think, Donnie?"

Donatello was still hiding his hands behind his shell. "Um…I have no idea what to say to that." He said nervously.

"Well, I still think that Donnie has no brain." Leo said.

"I second that emotion." Ann replied. "But I still have no idea what to talk about in this stupid interview."

"I know!" Donatello exclaimed. "Let's get Leo to do something stupid on camera!"

"You mean…again?" Ann muttered.

"I know! Let's push his cheeks together and make him sound funny!" Donatello said as he leaned over to attack his brother's pudgy cheeks.

"My, that certainly is an interesting idea." Ann attempted to sound professional.

"Don't touch me! Back! Back, I say!" Leo squealed. "I hate this conversation!"

Donnie was too far gone at this point. "No, you must let me squeeze your cheeks together so that you can sound funny!" He then proceeded to chase Leo around the room.

"I am so glad I was an only child." Ann sighed.

"Help me!!!" Leo screamed.

"Rhonda, help help me Rhonda.." Ann began to sing, building a fort out of her desk supplies.

"Ok, I caught him." Donnie said, holding Leo's face between both of his hands. "So, Leo, how's it going with your cheeks all squished together?"

All that could be heard was some garbled muttering and some possible use of swearing.

"This interview is pointless." Ann rolled her eyes. "Why are we doing this again? Oh wait, yeah, I remember, because that's the point of the show!"

Leo continued muttering.

"He's a little confused at the moment. It's ok, Leo, it's ok." Don fakely attempted to console Leo by holding his lips in one hand and petting the top of his head with the other.

"Oh, geez, guess what? We're all out of time! Well, this concludes our wonderful interview. Thank God." Ann interrupted.

"No, really, Leo. It's ok. We're here for you." Donnie continued as cheesy talk show music began to blare in the studio.

"Well, if we're lucky, folks, maybe our funding won't be pulled and used for more intellectual material (such as Teletubbies or Barney) and you'll be able to tune in next time for another……..useless interview!!!!!" Ann announced as the sounds of Leo's muttering could be heard over the fake applause.

"You know something, Leo?" Donnie asked his brother, who had broken free and was now massaging his lips back into their proper position. "I'm bored again."


End file.
